⚡ HALL OF CHAMPIONS ⚡

The permanent record of every champion who has stepped onto the TurdQuest Court. Their percentages. Their streaks. Their TurdCoins. All of it. Forever.

COURT FT% 80.9%

TOTAL SHOTS 9606

TOTAL MADE 7768

COINS MINTED 💩498

ROUNDS PLAYED 4773

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🐝 HIVE DRIVE — TODAY

The5 and TurdQuest share one hive and one scoreboard. The bees refused to maintain two spreadsheets.

No pollen on the payroll yet. The shift is yours.

🐝 CLOCK IN

🐝 HIVE DRIVE — ALL-TIME

The5 and TurdQuest share one hive and one scoreboard. The bees refused to maintain two spreadsheets.

RANK	POLLEN EMPLOYEE	SCORE
1	Kmonkey15🐒	17,006
2	CheeseDude17🧀	15,760
3	suzie	13,101
4	Suzieee	12,827
5	mc	12,566
6	BigBwain	9,299
7	ali-cat🐱	8,149
8	Lily_Corn_2012	8,024
9	jail	7,438
10	Drinkwater©	7,119
11	notBurma	6,499
12	mccallum	5,995
13	aly	5,125
14	lildidsheknow	5,037
15	Henry E.	3,892
16	dointistisma	3,790
17	shit	3,739
18	Purse	3,327
19	test14	3,326
20	MacroPotato	3,313
21	Simpletaco	2,762
22	corsola	2,645
23	DJ_awesomesauce‼️	2,585
24	Daquavious	2,532
25	Hairspruce	2,512
26	Ben the Annhilator	2,121
27	Human Butt	2,059
28	Braeden	2,024
29	Bad Boy	1,991
30	bigpimpin	1,766

🐝 CLOCK IN

📰 TODAY ON THE COURT

Every score entered into any leaderboard today (Central), newest first. Guest runs are not listed — only entries attached to a champion.

NOTHING HAS HAPPENED TODAY.
The court is silent. Go break that.

🗞 THE LATEST, ACROSS ALL TIME

The most recent entries on record from every game, whenever they happened.

WHEN	PLAYER	GAME	RESULT	WHAT HAPPENED
Oct 31 12:42 PM	dog38429	♛ THE GAMBIT	1,200 RATING	lost vs KING CLAUDIUS · corr
Oct 30 02:57 PM	Henry E.	💨 TRUST	9,238 SCORE	37 farts trusted · 3 accidents
Oct 30 02:47 PM	Kmonkey15🐒	♛ THE GAMBIT	1,238 RATING	won vs KING CLAUDIUS · corr
Oct 30 02:39 PM	Henry E.	🏀 FREE THROW	2 FT MADE	2 of 2 from the line
Oct 30 01:02 PM	oooowwween	💵 THE PRICE IS NICE	188 SCORE	95 / 0 / 93
Oct 30 01:00 PM	oooowwween	🏀 FREE THROW	1 FT MADE	1 of 2 from the line
Oct 30 12:36 PM	Henry E.	🏀 FREE THROW	1 FT MADE	1 of 2 from the line
Oct 30 12:35 PM	Henry E.	🏀 FREE THROW	2 FT MADE	2 of 2 from the line
Oct 30 12:34 PM	Henry E.	🏀 FREE THROW	2 FT MADE	2 of 2 from the line
Oct 30 12:34 PM	Henry E.	🏀 FREE THROW	2 FT MADE	2 of 2 from the line
Oct 30 12:34 PM	Henry E.	🏀 FREE THROW	2 FT MADE	2 of 2 from the line
Oct 30 12:33 PM	Henry E.	🏀 FREE THROW	2 FT MADE	2 of 2 from the line
Oct 30 12:33 PM	Henry E.	🏀 FREE THROW	2 FT MADE	2 of 2 from the line
Oct 30 12:33 PM	Henry E.	🏀 FREE THROW	2 FT MADE	2 of 2 from the line
Oct 30 12:32 PM	Henry E.	🏀 FREE THROW	2 FT MADE	2 of 2 from the line
Oct 30 12:31 PM	Henry E.	🏀 FREE THROW	2 FT MADE	2 of 2 from the line
Oct 30 12:31 PM	Henry E.	🏀 FREE THROW	2 FT MADE	2 of 2 from the line
Oct 29 03:00 PM	Henry E.	💨 TRUST	7,858 SCORE	29 farts trusted · 1 accident
Oct 29 02:55 PM	Henry E.	💨 TRUST	8,070 SCORE	24 farts trusted · 1 accident
Oct 29 02:55 PM	dog38429	💨 TRUST	1,158 SCORE	11 farts trusted · 1 accident
Oct 29 02:53 PM	dog38429	💨 TRUST	2,468 SCORE	22 farts trusted · 1 accident
Oct 29 02:50 PM	Henry E.	💢 ANGRY TURDS: OVERTIME	224,130 SCORE	level 26 · 42 coins
Oct 29 02:46 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	42 FLOORS	17 perfect drops · regrow mode
Oct 29 02:45 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	28 FLOORS	6 perfect drops · regrow mode
Oct 29 02:45 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	41 FLOORS	14 perfect drops · regrow mode
Oct 29 02:45 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	36 FLOORS	10 perfect drops · regrow mode
Oct 29 02:44 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	38 FLOORS	13 perfect drops · regrow mode
Oct 29 02:44 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	40 FLOORS	10 perfect drops · regrow mode
Oct 29 02:43 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	35 FLOORS	10 perfect drops
Oct 29 02:41 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	28 FLOORS	3 perfect drops
Oct 29 02:38 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	36 FLOORS	7 perfect drops
Oct 29 02:37 PM	dog38429	💵 THE PRICE IS NICE	96 SCORE	12 / 27 / 57
Oct 29 02:32 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	27 FLOORS	5 perfect drops
Oct 29 02:32 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	20 FLOORS	2 perfect drops
Oct 29 02:32 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	28 FLOORS	5 perfect drops
Oct 29 02:31 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	4 FLOORS	1 perfect drop
Oct 29 02:31 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	32 FLOORS	4 perfect drops
Oct 29 02:31 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	31 FLOORS	4 perfect drops
Oct 29 02:31 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	4 FLOORS	0 perfect drops
Oct 29 02:30 PM	dog38429	💩 TURD STACK	32 FLOORS	5 perfect drops · regrow mode
Oct 29 01:33 PM	Drinkwater©	💩 TURD STACK	35 FLOORS	5 perfect drops · regrow mode
Oct 29 01:32 PM	Drinkwater©	💩 TURD STACK	26 FLOORS	4 perfect drops
Oct 28 06:28 PM	dotty13	💩 TURD STACK	7 FLOORS	0 perfect drops
Oct 28 12:39 PM	dog38429	♛ THE GAMBIT	1,200 RATING	lost vs KING CLAUDIUS · corr
Oct 28 12:36 PM	dog38429	♛ THE GAMBIT	1,200 RATING	lost vs KING CLAUDIUS · corr
Oct 28 12:36 PM	dog38429	♛ THE GAMBIT	1,200 RATING	lost vs KING CLAUDIUS · corr
Oct 28 11:13 AM	Drinkwater©	💢 ANGRY TURDS: OVERTIME	325,430 SCORE	level 34 · 62 coins
Oct 28 09:51 AM	Drinkwater©	💢 ANGRY TURDS: OVERTIME	480,300 SCORE	level 41 · 84 coins
Oct 28 09:25 AM	Drinkwater©	💢 ANGRY TURDS: OVERTIME	34,700 SCORE	level 7 · 7 coins
Oct 28 09:04 AM	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	♟️ SICILIAN DEFENSE	3 WAVE	3 waves cleared
Oct 28 09:03 AM	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	💵 THE PRICE IS NICE	132 SCORE	94 / 0 / 38
Oct 27 02:50 PM	Kmonkey15🐒	♛ THE GAMBIT	1,238 RATING	lost vs KING CLAUDIUS · corr
Oct 27 02:46 PM	dog38429	♛ THE GAMBIT	1,200 RATING	lost vs KING CLAUDIUS · corr
Oct 27 02:46 PM	Kmonkey15🐒	♛ THE GAMBIT	1,238 RATING	won vs QUEEN GERTRUDE · corr
Oct 27 02:45 PM	Daquavious	🚽 PRIVACY PANIC	93,135 SCORE	207 trackers blocked · clearance 13
Oct 27 02:45 PM	dog38429	♛ THE GAMBIT	1,200 RATING	lost vs KING CLAUDIUS · corr
Oct 27 02:44 PM	dog38429	♛ THE GAMBIT	1,200 RATING	lost vs KING CLAUDIUS · corr
Oct 27 02:43 PM	dog38429	♛ THE GAMBIT	1,200 RATING	lost vs KING CLAUDIUS · corr
Oct 27 02:42 PM	Daquavious	🚽 PRIVACY PANIC	105,360 SCORE	206 trackers blocked · clearance 11

💩 LIFETIME TURDCOIN EARNINGS

Ranked by every TurdCoin earned, including game prizes and admin awards. Spending never reduces this total. Ties broken by total career makes. Lifetime totals include recovered history; older unrecorded spending may be missing.

RANK	CHAMPION	💩 EARNED ALL-TIME	CURRENT STASH	FT MADE	FT%	BEST STREAK
🥇	Drinkwater©	320	311	3886/4084	95.2%	161
🥈	Henry E.	58	51	631/660	95.6%	164
🥉	Kmonkey15🐒	30	26	305/402	75.9%	30
#4	mc A	30	30	152/161	94.4%	87
#5	Daquavious	28	24	400/471	84.9%	33
#6	mccallum A	27	12	541/639	84.7%	63
#7	notBurma	15	6	237/270	87.8%	27
#8	Michael_IV	12	12	138/164	84.1%	43
#9	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	7	6	93/130	71.5%	22
#10	dog38429	6	6	74/118	62.7%	8
#11	Kmonkey15_2	6	6	69/72	95.8%	50
#12	oooowwween	6	5	32/52	61.5%	5
#13	AgadlerIV	4	3	77/96	80.2%	26
#14	WillU	4	4	39/73	53.4%	13
#15	Action051403	4	3	33/53	62.3%	10
#16	DavePoop	3	2	70/84	83.3%	22
#17	Quinkin Buttergolly	3	3	7/20	35.0%	2
#18	Audsquad66	3	3	6/12	50.0%	3
#19	dotty13	3	3	2/10	20.0%	1
#20	t	2	2	99/116	85.3%	18
#21	turdking	2	0	59/82	72.0%	15
#22	BigBwain	1	1	17/20	85.0%	12
#23	David_is_better	1	0	16/26	61.5%	11
#24	shit A	0	0	17/20	85.0%	8
#25	averimeow	0	0	10/38	26.3%	2
#26	Rileym23	0	0	10/21	47.6%	3
#27	Pyre	0	0	8/10	80.0%	6
#28	CheeseDude17🧀	0	0	7/8	87.5%	7
#29	LittleNson	0	0	7/16	43.8%	3
#30	Shoopooh	0	0	6/18	33.3%	2
#31	Kellen	0	0	6/18	33.3%	3
#32	anndia84	0	0	5/13	38.5%	2
#33	SUPERTUFFKINGBOB7	0	0	5/10	50.0%	3
#34	Werldy	0	0	4/14	28.6%	2
#35	R0YAL_7	0	0	4/11	36.4%	2
#36	xXpwnmasterXx	0	0	3/8	37.5%	2
#37	indannika48	0	0	3/6	50.0%	2
#38	Natediddy	0	0	2/6	33.3%	2
#39	DJ_awesomesauce‼️	0	0	1/4	25.0%	1
#40	xosimon	0	0	1/8	12.5%	1
#41	kayla_is_the_best	0	0	1/3	33.3%	1
#42	Dave	0	0	0/1	0.0%	0

💩 CURRENT TURDCOIN STASH

Ranked by coins available to spend right now. Ties broken by total career makes. Lifetime totals include recovered history; older unrecorded spending may be missing.

RANK	CHAMPION	💩 EARNED ALL-TIME	CURRENT STASH	FT MADE	FT%	BEST STREAK
🥇	Drinkwater©	320	311	3886/4084	95.2%	161
🥈	Henry E.	58	51	631/660	95.6%	164
🥉	mc A	30	30	152/161	94.4%	87
#4	Kmonkey15🐒	30	26	305/402	75.9%	30
#5	Daquavious	28	24	400/471	84.9%	33
#6	mccallum A	27	12	541/639	84.7%	63
#7	Michael_IV	12	12	138/164	84.1%	43
#8	notBurma	15	6	237/270	87.8%	27
#9	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	7	6	93/130	71.5%	22
#10	dog38429	6	6	74/118	62.7%	8
#11	Kmonkey15_2	6	6	69/72	95.8%	50
#12	oooowwween	6	5	32/52	61.5%	5
#13	WillU	4	4	39/73	53.4%	13
#14	AgadlerIV	4	3	77/96	80.2%	26
#15	Action051403	4	3	33/53	62.3%	10
#16	Quinkin Buttergolly	3	3	7/20	35.0%	2
#17	Audsquad66	3	3	6/12	50.0%	3
#18	dotty13	3	3	2/10	20.0%	1
#19	t	2	2	99/116	85.3%	18
#20	DavePoop	3	2	70/84	83.3%	22
#21	BigBwain	1	1	17/20	85.0%	12
#22	turdking	2	0	59/82	72.0%	15
#23	shit A	0	0	17/20	85.0%	8
#24	David_is_better	1	0	16/26	61.5%	11
#25	averimeow	0	0	10/38	26.3%	2
#26	Rileym23	0	0	10/21	47.6%	3
#27	Pyre	0	0	8/10	80.0%	6
#28	CheeseDude17🧀	0	0	7/8	87.5%	7
#29	LittleNson	0	0	7/16	43.8%	3
#30	Shoopooh	0	0	6/18	33.3%	2
#31	Kellen	0	0	6/18	33.3%	3
#32	anndia84	0	0	5/13	38.5%	2
#33	SUPERTUFFKINGBOB7	0	0	5/10	50.0%	3
#34	Werldy	0	0	4/14	28.6%	2
#35	R0YAL_7	0	0	4/11	36.4%	2
#36	xXpwnmasterXx	0	0	3/8	37.5%	2
#37	indannika48	0	0	3/6	50.0%	2
#38	Natediddy	0	0	2/6	33.3%	2
#39	DJ_awesomesauce‼️	0	0	1/4	25.0%	1
#40	xosimon	0	0	1/8	12.5%	1
#41	kayla_is_the_best	0	0	1/3	33.3%	1
#42	Dave	0	0	0/1	0.0%	0

🔥 LONGEST CAREER STREAK (min 10 shots)

RANK	CHAMPION	BEST STREAK	FT%	TOTAL MADE	EARNED ALL-TIME	CURRENT STASH
#1	Henry E.	164	95.6%	631	58	51
#2	Drinkwater©	161	95.2%	3886	320	311
#3	mc	87	94.4%	152	30	30
#4	mccallum	63	84.7%	541	27	12
#5	Kmonkey15_2	50	95.8%	69	6	6
#6	Michael_IV	43	84.1%	138	12	12
#7	Daquavious	33	84.9%	400	28	24
#8	Kmonkey15🐒	30	75.9%	305	30	26
#9	notBurma	27	87.8%	237	15	6
#10	AgadlerIV	26	80.2%	77	4	3
#11	DavePoop	22	83.3%	70	3	2
#12	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	22	71.5%	93	7	6
#13	t	18	85.3%	99	2	2
#14	turdking	15	72.0%	59	2	0
#15	WillU	13	53.4%	39	4	4
#16	BigBwain	12	85.0%	17	1	1
#17	David_is_better	11	61.5%	16	1	0
#18	Action051403	10	62.3%	33	4	3
#19	shit	8	85.0%	17	0	0
#20	dog38429	8	62.7%	74	6	6

📊 FREE THROW % (minimum 20 shots)

Minimum 20 career shots required for percentage ranking. The Court does not recognize small sample sizes.

RANK	CHAMPION	FT%	MADE/ATT	BEST STREAK	EARNED ALL-TIME	CURRENT STASH
#1	Kmonkey15_2	95.8%	69/72	50	6	6
#2	Henry E.	95.6%	631/660	164	58	51
#3	Drinkwater©	95.2%	3886/4084	161	320	311
#4	mc	94.4%	152/161	87	30	30
#5	notBurma	87.8%	237/270	27	15	6
#6	t	85.3%	99/116	18	2	2
#7	shit	85.0%	17/20	8	0	0
#8	BigBwain	85.0%	17/20	12	1	1
#9	Daquavious	84.9%	400/471	33	28	24
#10	mccallum	84.7%	541/639	63	27	12
#11	Michael_IV	84.1%	138/164	43	12	12
#12	DavePoop	83.3%	70/84	22	3	2
#13	AgadlerIV	80.2%	77/96	26	4	3
#14	Kmonkey15🐒	75.9%	305/402	30	30	26
#15	turdking	72.0%	59/82	15	2	0
#16	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	71.5%	93/130	22	7	6
#17	dog38429	62.7%	74/118	8	6	6
#18	Action051403	62.3%	33/53	10	4	3
#19	oooowwween	61.5%	32/52	5	6	5
#20	David_is_better	61.5%	16/26	11	1	0

💗 DEPARTMENT OF ROMANTIC AND GASTROINTESTINAL OUTCOMES

Trust is no longer judged by score alone. The Court now tracks courtship, reactor-grade timing, and every suspicious walk to the restroom. Love and cowardice are both database events.

SMOOCHES LOGGED 149

CRUSHES SCARED AWAY 87

ROMANCE CONVERSION 63.1%

NUCLEAR GREEN RATE 10.6%

NUCLEAR EVENTS 48/452

TOILET TRIPS 220

FALSE ALARM RATE 76.4%

FALSE ALARMS 168

💨 TRUST CLEAN SCORES: PANTS UNASSISTED DIVISION

Score before the first fresh-underwear purchase. No garment bailout, no actuarial mercy. This is the leaderboard your crush checks before making eye contact.

RANK	CHAMPION	CLEAN SCORE	FINAL SCORE	FARTS TRUSTED	☢ GREEN	💋	TOILET	UNDERWEAR AFTER
#1	Kmonkey15🐒	19249	19249	38	2/5	4 / 0	1 (1 false)	0
#2	mc	13580	13580	36	0/6	2 / 2	1 (0 false)	0
#3	mccallum	12877	12877	33	1/3	1 / 2	3 (2 false)	0
#4	Drinkwater©	12206	12206	29	1/4	3 / 0	2 (2 false)	0
#5	shit	10302	10302	35	0/4	2 / 1	0	0
#6	Henry E.	9149	9238	37	1/14	2 / 0	5 (3 false)	2
#7	Michael_IV	8796	8796	31	0/8	2 / 0	1 (1 false)	0
#8	Daquavious	8439	8439	23	1/1	1 / 1	0	0
#9	AgadlerIV	6706	6706	22	0/0	0 / 0	0	0
#10	DavePoop	6661	6661	23	0/0	0 / 0	0	0
#11	Action051403	6170	6170	21	0/1	2 / 0	0	0
#12	David_is_better	5640	5840	30	0/1	1 / 2	0	1
#13	R0YAL_7	5546	5546	21	0/2	1 / 1	1 (0 false)	0
#14	BigBwain	5431	5431	22	0/0	0 / 0	0	0
#15	Pyre	4674	4674	22	0/0	0 / 0	0	0
#16	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	4134	4134	20	1/8	1 / 0	0	0
#17	Dave	3282	3282	17	0/1	1 / 0	0	0
#18	Werldy	3108	3108	18	0/0	1 / 0	0	0
#19	notBurma	2955	3741	26	0/8	0 / 1	6 (5 false)	1
#20	dog38429	2780	2780	20	0/2	0 / 1	2 (2 false)	0
#21	oooowwween	2779	2779	12	0/0	1 / 0	1 (1 false)	0
#22	Quinkin Buttergolly	2671	2671	14	0/0	1 / 0	0	0
#23	anndia84	2482	2482	14	0/0	1 / 0	0	0
#24	WillU	2456	2456	17	0/0	0 / 0	0	0
#25	indannika48	2221	2221	12	0/0	1 / 0	0	0
#26	Audsquad66	1649	1649	18	0/1	0 / 1	2 (1 false)	0
#27	Shoopooh	850	850	10	0/0	0 / 0	0	0
#28	LittleNson	795	795	10	0/0	0 / 0	0	0
#29	Rileym23	661	661	12	0/0	0 / 0	1 (1 false)	0
#30	t	656	656	7	0/0	0 / 0	0	0

🩲 TRUST DIRTY SCORES: FRESH UNDERWEAR AMNESTY BOARD

Final Trust scores from runs that used fresh underwear. Assisted survival, fully disclosed. A champion may appear here and above. Hypocrisy is permitted when properly itemized.

RANK	CHAMPION	DIRTY SCORE	CLEAN CHECKPOINT	FARTS TRUSTED	CRUSH FILE	NUCLEAR FILE	TOILET FILE	UNDERWEAR USED
#1	mccallum	9679	UNFILED	25	0 smooch / 0 fled	0/0 green	0 trips	1
#2	Kmonkey15🐒	9474	8744	34	2 smooch / 0 fled	0/6 green	5 trips, 4 false	1
#3	Henry E.	9238	9149	37	2 smooch / 0 fled	1/14 green	5 trips, 3 false	2
#4	Drinkwater©	7315	3569	43	1 smooch / 1 fled	4/13 green	0 trips	5
#5	AgadlerIV	6181	UNFILED	23	0 smooch / 0 fled	0/0 green	0 trips	1
#6	David_is_better	5840	5640	30	1 smooch / 2 fled	0/1 green	0 trips	1
#7	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	4043	3583	23	1 smooch / 0 fled	1/7 green	0 trips	1
#8	notBurma	3741	2955	26	0 smooch / 1 fled	0/8 green	6 trips, 5 false	1
#9	DavePoop	3393	1582	26	0 smooch / 0 fled	0/0 green	0 trips	1
#10	Daquavious	3229	2654	22	1 smooch / 0 fled	0/2 green	1 trips, 1 false	1

💩 ANGRY TURDS - TODAY'S RUNS

Ranked completed runs recorded today (Central). Highest score wins; level reached breaks ties.

No Angry Turds runs recorded today.

💥 ANGRY TURDS - ALL-TIME CHAMPIONS

Each player's best completed run. Ranked by score, then level reached and coins collected.

RANK	CHAMPION	BEST SCORE	LEVEL REACHED	COINS COLLECTED	COINS CRUSHED
🥇	Henry E.	3016870	139	345	9
🥈	Drinkwater©	480300	41	84	7
🥉	dotty13	263330	30	46	4
#4	oooowwween	236740	28	47	1
#5	notBurma	61207	7	26	49
#6	Rileym23	55860	11	13	2
#7	Kmonkey15🐒	37025	7	16	30
#8	dog38429	27670	7	5	0
#9	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	23740	6	5	0
#10	David_is_better	18620	4	5	0
#11	averimeow	17554	4	9	15
#12	Michael_IV	17370	5	13	8
#13	Daquavious	17330	5	8	14
#14	mccallum	15180	5	7	15
#15	AgadlerIV	12965	4	8	12
#16	DavePoop	8604	3	5	8
#17	BigBwain	8542	3	8	5
#18	LittleNson	8448	3	4	9
#19	turdking	7608	3	2	11
#20	WillU	3614	2	0	8
#21	mc	2340	2	1	0

♟ THE SICILIAN — TODAY'S RUNS

Ranked runs started today (Central). Past the last numbered wave the run continues into the endless game, and survival time there breaks ties.

No Sicilian runs started today.

♚ THE SICILIAN — ALL-TIME CHAMPIONS

Each player's best run. Highest wave ranks first; endless-game survival time resolves runs that reached the same final wave.

RANK	CHAMPION	BEST WAVE	WAVES CLEARED	ENDLESS TIME
🥇	Kmonkey15🐒	28	27	11:26
🥈	Drinkwater©	28	27	10:57
🥉	Henry E.	28	27	08:45
#4	Action051403	24	23	05:09
#5	Daquavious	20	20	—
#6	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	20	20	—
#7	Dave	20	19	—
#8	dog38429	19	19	—
#9	David_is_better	16	15	—
#10	mc	15	14	—
#11	Quinkin Buttergolly	14	13	—
#12	oooowwween	12	12	—
#13	Rileym23	4	4	—
#14	indannika48	3	2	—
#15	WillU	1	1	—
#16	dotty13	1	1	—
#17	Audsquad66	1	1	—
#18	DJ_awesomesauce‼️	1	1	—
#19	kayla_is_the_best	1	0	—
#20	Michael_IV	1	0	—

💩 TURD STACK — TODAY'S TOWER LORDS

Ranked by floors stacked today (Central). Miss once and it's over — no second chances on the court.

No Turd Stack runs recorded today.
The tower awaits its architect.

🏗 TURD STACK — ALL-TIME MASTERS

Each champion's greatest tower. The permanent record of precision. The definitive ranking of stacking excellence.

RANK	CHAMPION	BEST TOWER	✨ PERFECT
🥇	mc	78 FLOORS	33
🥈	mccallum	74 FLOORS	35
🥉	shit	67 FLOORS	0
#4	CheeseDude17🧀	61 FLOORS	25
#5	Kmonkey15🐒	60 FLOORS	27
#6	Kellen	55 FLOORS	22
#7	Quinkin Buttergolly	51 FLOORS	19
#8	WillU	51 FLOORS	16
#9	Drinkwater©	50 FLOORS	20
#10	Daquavious	47 FLOORS	20
#11	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	46 FLOORS	15
#12	Henry E.	40 FLOORS	14
#13	Michael_IV	37 FLOORS	9
#14	dog38429	36 FLOORS	7
#15	Action051403	34 FLOORS	6
#16	Audsquad66	33 FLOORS	6
#17	dotty13	33 FLOORS	11
#18	t	32 FLOORS	0
#19	Dave	32 FLOORS	7
#20	kayla_is_the_best	30 FLOORS	6
#21	oooowwween	24 FLOORS	10
#22	David_is_better	6 FLOORS	0

✨ TURD STACK — PERFECT STACKS

Flawless deposits: drops that land dead-on with zero shrinkage. Ranked by the most in a single tower, then the longest unbroken run of them. Streaks are tracked from Oct 4, 2026.

RANK	CHAMPION	MOST IN ONE TOWER	LONGEST STREAK	CAREER PERFECTS	PERFECT RATE
🥇	mc	44	6 IN A ROW	711	30.7%
🥈	mccallum	35	-	565	34.5%
🥉	Kmonkey15🐒	30	8 IN A ROW	611	30.2%
#4	Quinkin Buttergolly	26	6 IN A ROW	2,929	26.3%
#5	CheeseDude17🧀	25	-	66	28.1%
#6	Kellen	22	-	603	24.0%
#7	WillU	21	2 IN A ROW	141	31.4%
#8	Drinkwater©	20	5 IN A ROW	124	23.4%
#9	Daquavious	20	-	109	24.5%
#10	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	16	-	410	23.8%
#11	Henry E.	14	2 IN A ROW	32	27.8%
#12	dotty13	11	4 IN A ROW	37	22.7%
#13	dog38429	10	4 IN A ROW	56	17.3%
#14	oooowwween	10	4 IN A ROW	16	19.5%
#15	Michael_IV	10	-	45	25.1%
#16	Audsquad66	8	-	53	18.7%
#17	kayla_is_the_best	7	-	42	17.4%
#18	Dave	7	-	7	20.6%
#19	Action051403	6	3 IN A ROW	33	13.7%

🌱 TURD STACK REGROW — TODAY

REGROW test mode: perfect streaks win back bar width. Ranked by floors stacked today (Central), kept apart from the classic boards.

No regrow runs recorded today.
The tower awaits its architect.

🌱 TURD STACK REGROW — ALL-TIME

REGROW test mode: each champion's greatest tower, kept apart from the classic boards.

RANK	CHAMPION	BEST TOWER	✨ PERFECT
🥇	mc	78 FLOORS	34
🥈	Kmonkey15🐒	73 FLOORS	33
🥉	Quinkin Buttergolly	55 FLOORS	22
#4	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	45 FLOORS	11
#5	dog38429	42 FLOORS	17
#6	Henry E.	39 FLOORS	12
#7	Drinkwater©	35 FLOORS	5
#8	Action051403	32 FLOORS	11
#9	oooowwween	9 FLOORS	1

✨ TURD STACK REGROW — PERFECT STACKS

Regrow records only, kept apart from Classic. Flawless deposits: drops that land dead-on with zero shrinkage. Ranked by the most in a single tower, then the longest unbroken run of them. Streaks are tracked from Oct 4, 2026.

RANK	CHAMPION	MOST IN ONE TOWER	LONGEST STREAK	CAREER PERFECTS	PERFECT RATE
🥇	mc	34	5 IN A ROW	187	37.2%
🥈	Kmonkey15🐒	33	6 IN A ROW	235	36.2%
🥉	Quinkin Buttergolly	22	5 IN A ROW	197	30.0%
#4	dog38429	17	3 IN A ROW	75	29.2%
#5	Henry E.	12	3 IN A ROW	25	24.0%
#6	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	11	3 IN A ROW	22	16.1%
#7	Action051403	11	2 IN A ROW	11	34.4%
#8	Drinkwater©	5	2 IN A ROW	10	14.7%
#9	oooowwween	1	1 IN A ROW	2	4.9%

🪲 BALL OF DOODY — TODAY'S FIELD COMMENDATIONS

Ranked by operational score today (Central). Dung retained. Corridors crossed. Hostile beetles professionally inconvenienced.

No classified operations have been recorded today.
The dung corridor remains tactically available.

🎖 BALL OF DOODY — PERMANENT OPERATIONAL RECORD

Each operative's highest score. The official archive of distinguished beetle logistics under hostile conditions.

RANK	OPERATIVE	BEST SCORE	OPERATION	HOSTILES
🥇	Daquavious	1,079,078	28	137
🥈	Drinkwater©	156,352	6	98
🥉	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	113,344	7	81
#4	Kmonkey15🐒	20,468	1	27
#5	mc	19,418	2	19
#6	t	17,008	2	22
#7	JohnTest	5,148	2	4
#8	shit	3,340	1	14
#9	mccallum	150	1	0

🚨 STINK LOCKDOWN — TODAY'S ESCAPE ATTEMPTS

A Nuclear fart jammed TurdQuest Arena's ball return and trapped Crush beneath the basketball court. Ranked by today's rescue score (Central).

NO RESCUE ATTEMPTS LOGGED TODAY.
The undercourt stink shutters are still sealed.

⚖ CRUSH HOUR — PERMANENT RESCUE RECORD

Each rescuer's strongest undercourt run. Every service lift offers escape or Trust: bank the score, or take an upgrade and descend into a more dangerous court.

RANK	RESCUER	BEST SCORE	FLOOR	STATUS	BALLS	POWER PLAYS	FARTS FLUSHED	BEST STREAK
🥇	Drinkwater©	104,050	7	ESCAPED	147	34	57	x27
🥈	Kmonkey15🐒	61,900	5	TRAPPED	115	22	85	x23
🥉	mc	53,885	5	TRAPPED	92	23	67	x23
#4	Henry E.	53,745	3	ESCAPED	87	18	52	x34
#5	dog38429	19,800	3	TRAPPED	40	9	44	x17
#6	oooowwween	14,650	3	TRAPPED	40	4	17	x15
#7	t	13,800	1	TRAPPED	35	5	24	x16
#8	Daquavious	9,400	2	TRAPPED	31	2	9	x10
#9	dotty13	4,710	1	ESCAPED	12	1	6	x10
#10	Audsquad66	1,825	1	TRAPPED	10	1	0	x4
#11	kayla_is_the_best	75	1	TRAPPED	0	0	0	x0

💵 THE PRICE IS NICE — TODAY'S GUESSES

Three real eBay Buy It Now listings, three guesses, scored on how close you land. Ranked by today's total (Central).

NOBODY HAS GUESSED YET TODAY.
The items are just sitting there, unpriced by human judgment.

💰 THE PRICE IS NICE — PERMANENT RECORD

Each player's single best day, out of 300 possible points.

RANK	PLAYER	BEST SCORE	DATE
🥇	Kmonkey15🐒	275 / 300	2026-09-30
🥈	Audsquad66	254 / 300	2026-09-18
🥉	mc	224 / 300	2026-07-24
#4	Henry E.	216 / 300	2026-09-18
#5	dog38429	197 / 300	2026-09-22
#6	mccallum	193 / 300	2026-07-24
#7	WillU	189 / 300	2026-09-16
#8	oooowwween	188 / 300	2026-10-30
#9	dotty13	177 / 300	2026-09-13
#10	Quinkin Buttergolly	157 / 300	2026-09-29
#11	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	144 / 300	2026-10-05
#12	Action051403	139 / 300	2026-10-22
#13	Michael_IV	131 / 300	2026-09-17
#14	t	128 / 300	2026-07-24
#15	Kellen	114 / 300	2026-09-25
#16	Daquavious	113 / 300	2026-09-29
#17	David_is_better	109 / 300	2026-10-22
#18	Drinkwater©	47 / 300	2026-09-16
#19	kayla_is_the_best	0 / 300	2026-09-13

🚽 PRIVACY PANIC — TODAY'S INCIDENT RESPONDERS

Ranked by today's incident score (Central). Cookies, pixels, and data brokers, neutralized.

NO ONE HAS RESPONDED TODAY.
The cookies are thrilled.

🕵️ PRIVACY PANIC — SEALED RECORD

Each responder's strongest incident, all-time.

RANK	PLAYER	BEST SCORE	BLOCKED	CLEARANCE
🥇	Drinkwater©	134,025	214	LV.13
🥈	Henry E.	131,895	216	LV.11
🥉	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	130,305	223	LV.12
#4	Kellen	123,015	223	LV.13
#5	Daquavious	115,960	213	LV.11
#6	Kmonkey15🐒	98,815	198	LV.11
#7	dog38429	86,335	195	LV.10
#8	oooowwween	44,475	127	LV.9
#9	Action051403	41,250	139	LV.10
#10	Dave	37,775	119	LV.8
#11	dotty13	29,405	89	LV.7
#12	mc	14,535	79	LV.5
#13	Michael_IV	13,565	74	LV.5

▶ PLAY FREE THROW REGISTER TO APPEAR HERE

YOU HAVE NOT FOUND THIS ONE YET.

Where champions are ranked or war councils gather, White has already moved. Answer with the defence that gives The Sicilian its name.

Everything below is real and is happening without you.

NO RECENTLY ACTIVE GAMES.

Start a game or return to one already in progress.

BULLET

#	PLAYER	RATING	W/L/D
1	Kmonkey15🐒	1236?	3/1/0
2	dog38429	1220?	1/0/0
3	Daquavious	1180?	0/1/0
4	Quinkin Buttergolly	1164?	1/3/0

BLITZ

#	PLAYER	RATING	W/L/D
1	Kmonkey15🐒	1312?	6/0/0
2	Quinkin Buttergolly	1243?	7/5/0
3	WillU	1227?	7/4/1
4	Drinkwater©	1218?	2/1/0
5	Dave	1181?	0/1/0
6	Kellen	1180?	0/1/0
7	Henry E.	1166?	0/2/0
8	Daquavious	1142?	0/3/0
9	CATCHTHEDESTROYER	1131?	0/5/1

RAPID

#	PLAYER	RATING	W/L/D
1	Kmonkey15🐒	1238?	2/0/0
2	Quinkin Buttergolly	1162?	0/2/0

CORR

#	PLAYER	RATING	W/L/D
1	Kmonkey15🐒	1238?	2/0/0
2	meursault	1220?	1/0/0
3	mc	1180?	0/1/0
4	Quinkin Buttergolly	1162?	0/2/0

THE LADDER — 7,599 RUNGS, SAME ORDER FOR EVERYONE

#	PLAYER	RUNG	FIRST TRY	HARDEST
1	WillU	5225	35	1803
2	Drinkwater©	4011	41	1502
3	mc	1201	24	600
4	Quinkin Buttergolly	403	5	600
5	t	7	6	501
6	Henry E.	1	0	—

LATELY

PLAYER	RUNG	HOW	WHEN
Drinkwater©	4010	2 tries	5d ago
Drinkwater©	4009	4 tries	6d ago
Drinkwater©	4008	4 tries	6d ago
Drinkwater©	4007	first try	6d ago
Drinkwater©	4006	first try	6d ago
Drinkwater©	4005	2 tries	6d ago
Drinkwater©	4004	2 tries	6d ago
Drinkwater©	4003	first try	6d ago
WillU	5224	2 tries	12d ago
WillU	5223	3 tries	12d ago
WillU	5222	2 tries	12d ago
WillU	5221	3 tries	12d ago

LONGEST RUNS

#	PLAYER	FIRST TRY IN A ROW	RUNG
1	mc	24	1201
2	WillU	11	5225
3	Drinkwater©	11	4011
4	t	6	7
5	Quinkin Buttergolly	5	403

Everyone starts at 1200. A ? means fewer than 15 games, so the number is still making its mind up. Games against the engine never count — it runs in your own browser, so it cannot be trusted to have been played honestly, which is also why there is nothing to gain by cheating it.

WHITE	BLACK	RESULT	OPENING	MOVES
dog38429	KING CLAUDIUS	black won by time · unrated	A KING PAWN GAME	19
KING CLAUDIUS	Kmonkey15🐒	black won by time · unrated	—	0
KING CLAUDIUS	dog38429	white won by resignation · unrated	THE OPEN GAME	15
dog38429	KING CLAUDIUS	black won by resignation · unrated	THE OPEN GAME	5
KING CLAUDIUS	dog38429	white won by checkmate · unrated	THE ENGLISH	41
KING CLAUDIUS	Kmonkey15🐒	white won by resignation · unrated	SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY	25
dog38429	KING CLAUDIUS	black won by resignation · unrated	A QUEEN PAWN GAME	9
QUEEN GERTRUDE	Kmonkey15🐒	black won by checkmate · unrated	THE CLOSED GAME	43
KING CLAUDIUS	dog38429	white won by resignation · unrated	THE DUNST	2
dog38429	KING CLAUDIUS	black won by resignation · unrated	THE SICILIAN	12
KING CLAUDIUS	dog38429	white won by resignation · unrated	THE ENGLISH	18
Kmonkey15🐒	KING CLAUDIUS	black won by resignation · unrated	THE CARO-KANN	14
QUEEN GERTRUDE	dog38429	white won by resignation · unrated	THE ENGLISH	5
dog38429	QUEEN GERTRUDE	drawn by stalemate · unrated	THE PIRC	76

WINNER	BEAT	GAP	TIME
Quinkin Buttergolly (1218)	WillU (1291)	+73	blitz

Eight engine opponents, hardest last. The first player to beat each one keeps that place permanently. These are exhibition games — Stockfish runs in the player's own browser, so none of them move anybody's rating.

#	OPPONENT	ELO	ITS RECORD	FIRST TO BEAT IT	BEATEN BY
0	WET FLOOR SIGN	300	4W/7L/0D · wins 36%	mc, then Drinkwater©, Kmonkey15🐒, WillU	4
10	QUEEN GERTRUDE	450	1W/2L/1D · wins 25%	mc, then Kmonkey15🐒	2
1	THE JANITOR	600	6W/6L/1D · wins 46%	mc, then Kmonkey15🐒, Drinkwater©, dog38429 and 1 more Henry E.	5
2	PORCELAIN	800	7W/5L/0D · wins 58%	mc, then Kmonkey15🐒, Drinkwater©, dog38429 and 1 more Henry E.	5
11	KING CLAUDIUS	900	11W/1L/0D · wins 92%	Kmonkey15🐒	1
3	THE UNDERSTUDY	1000	34W/7L/0D · wins 83%	Quinkin Buttergolly, then mc, Kmonkey15🐒, Drinkwater© and 3 more Henry E., dog38429, Daquavious	7
9	mc 🤖	1100	77W/7L/4D · wins 88%	mc, then meursault, Quinkin Buttergolly, Drinkwater© and 1 more Kmonkey15🐒	5
4	THE INSPECTOR	1200	20W/4L/2D · wins 77%	Quinkin Buttergolly, then WillU, Drinkwater©, Kmonkey15🐒	4
12	PRINCE HAMLET	1300	unplayed	nobody yet	0
5	THE BURSAR	1400	73W/2L/6D · wins 90%	Quinkin Buttergolly, then WillU	2
6	THE COMMISSIONER	1650	65W/0L/1D · wins 98%	nobody yet	0
7	THE REGISTRAR	1900	1W/0L/0D · wins 100%	nobody yet	0
8	THE COURT	2200	6W/1L/0D · wins 86%	Kmonkey15🐒	1

A separate ladder, climbed against the eight engine opponents. Each one is worth a fixed rating, so this is measured against a steady yardstick rather than against other people. It is not the rated ladder and never feeds into it — the engine runs in the player's own browser, so there is no way to know a game was played honestly. It is somewhere to climb from while you are learning.

#	PLAYER	TRAINING	W/L/D
1	Quinkin Buttergolly	883	6/40/6
2	Drinkwater©	844	6/45/2
3	Kmonkey15🐒	840	10/24/0
4	guest4	836?	1/0/0
5	Daquavious	821?	1/1/0
6	meursault	816?	1/3/0
7	WillU	806	3/83/3
8	Nicolas_Gamer5476	794?	0/1/0
9	dotty13	790?	0/1/0
10	Henry E.	726	3/20/1
11	oooowwween	723?	0/3/0
12	mc	708	9/34/2
13	dog38429	641	3/47/1

What this arcade actually opens with, counted over every finished game. 1 of them answered 1.e4 the way the door did.

OPENING	GAMES	SHARE	W/B/D
THE OPEN GAME	12	34%	6/6/0	Straight down the middle. No tricks, no hiding.
THE SCANDINAVIAN	9	26%	3/6/0	Argues immediately. Respect it.
A KING PAWN GAME	3	9%	3/0/0	Classical, as far as it went.
BIRD'S OPENING	2	6%	0/2/0	Nobody expects it. There is a reason.
VAN 'T KRUIJS	2	6%	0/2/0	One square. A whole opening. Somehow.
THE ALEKHINE	2	6%	2/0/0	Offers itself as bait and means it.
THE SICILIAN	1	3%	0/1/0	The house opening. The door you came in through.
THE CARO-KANN	1	3%	0/1/0	Solid to the point of rudeness.